Mary Date - LGBT role model

Senior Case Worker

My identity

I identify as a gay women, however that is just one part of me. I’ve known I was gay since the age of 16, maybe younger. But I always wanted to fit in so badly and be ‘normal’ I was picked on for being a tom boy most of my school life and as I also struggled with anxiety, I didn’t want anything else to make me different so I pushed those feelings away and convinced myself I hadn’t met the “right man”, which I now know was so silly and I caused myself much more torment by doing so. I’m pretty sure my family knew and had accepted my sexuality long before I did, despite that I hadn’t officially come out to them, I just brought my partner home one day and now she never leaves!

I came out to myself when I was 22 after months of my sister telling me “it doesn’t matter if your gay, I work with a lady who is gay and she’s fine”. After that I actively started searching for a relationship through online dating, after a few months of almost dates I came across my now partner who just so happens to be the gay women my sister worked with! I am finally at a place where I am so happy, I no longer suffer from extreme anxiety attacks and my partner is the single most incredible women I have ever met. The freedom to be out is just the most fantastic feeling.

Why it is important to be a role model

I do not consider myself to be a role model just a human being. Growing up I was taught right and wrong, to treat people as I would like to be treated and respect everybody and their beliefs. I am a person who does not judge and respects people regardless of external circumstances.

Growing up, there wasn’t much representation for the LGBT+ community, it wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I noticed a more accurate representation on LGBT+ was being portrayed in the media. I noticed more and more people being openly gay, but still at school and college only a couple of people were brave enough to come out. I want to help the fear to be taken away for people who want to come out, I want to be there for people who are like I was, I want everyone to know that it is perfectly acceptable to be who you are. It is not bad to identify as part of the LGBT+ community.

Mary Date