It’s easy to go through your busy working day fairly blinkered about what you do and the knock-on effect of your actions on others. It’s easy too, to be defensive when challenged about something you forgot to communicate, without realising the inconvenience it caused for others. Considering Consequences is a resilience habit that keeps you aware, responsible and accountable by simply thinking through what’s likely to happen if you do something, and, if you don’t. It’s surprising how the consequences become very significant very soon and how quickly they go against personal or organisational values.
To what extent does taking care of yourself feature in your to do list? We live in times where skipping lunch, communicating mainly through electronic media and not experiencing much natural daylight is the norm, because we increasingly prioritise getting things done over the small things that matter for taking care of ourselves. When getting things done repeatedly takes priority over self-care, we start to run out of energy, and if this becomes the norm, it’s likely chronic illnesses will become the norm too.
Take stock every day of how you’ve listened to what your body needs and how you have shown some self-care. This will boost your intention for tomorrow, and the next day…
EqualIIseThis resilience habit is about rights-respecting behaviour - it reminds you what that looks like and how it feels. It nudges you into having a respectful attitude at work, respecting others and respecting yourself.
Use this tool to reflect on your interactions each day and consider: When did I come over as Big i? When did I go into little 'i' behaviour? When did I see and communicate I to I?
The very best way of developing equalIIse behaviour is to invite feedback from others on how you came across, for example, asking a trusted colleague after a meeting to describe your behaviour using the equalIIse model and vocabulary.
Download the EqualIIse habit
Think of a time when you looked forward to coming to work and then contrast that with a time when you didn’t. What part did the quality of your relationships at work play in your enjoyment of your working life? Resilient relationships result from i) knowing yourself well and being aware of the impact you have on others ii) reading others well and being aware of the impact they have on you and iii) adapting how you relate to others so the impact you have is the impact you want.
Getting things in perspective
When you’re feeling tense, stressed, under pressure or in conflict, it’s very easy to become blinkered and to get things out of perspective. Then, your thoughts and feelings start running away with you. If you develop the resilience habit of getting things in perspective by rising above the situation and asking yourself a few simple questions, you will feel more balanced and patient, less stressed, more calm.