Supporting others

Talking about death can feel uncomfortable. Everyone is different and some people find it more difficult than others. You might worry about upsetting loved ones, but talking openly and honestly about dying can help reduce feelings of distress, grief, and loneliness. Once decided, it can be helpful to clearly write down the wishes of your loved one. This helps you, other family and friends, carers, and medical professionals to understand and respect them.

If you are caring for or supporting someone who is dying, the links below provide helpful, free information and tips to get you started.

Practical support

Future Planning is specifically designed so that the things that matter to someone who is dying, such as their preferences and wishes relating to medical care, are recorded. This is so that if they are taken ill it can help those caring for the person dying make better, more informed decisions about how to support them.

NHS Choices has a supportive guide for people approaching the end of their life. This includes how and where people want to be cared for, financial issues, planning ahead and searching for local hospices. You should sensitively discuss these topics with your loved one so everyone feels prepared.

Independent Age provides information about practical matters to plan for end of life and coping with bereavement.

Connect to Support Hampshire lists local and national end of life services. Please note that providers listed in this directory are not endorsed by Hampshire County Council.

Talking about dying

Marie Curie Talkabout provides support and inspiration to help people talk about and plan for a death, at any age.

Hospice UK offers advice to help you plan the future care of someone with dementia and suggests tips on how to speak about death and dying to someone with dementia.

If you are caring for someone who is dying

Macmillan shares information for people caring for someone who is dying, including what to expect, looking after yourself, and where to get support. They also have a page for coping with death as a young carer.

Hospice UK knows that caring for someone at the end of their life is not easy and share tips on how important it is for carers to look after themselves whilst caring for someone they love.

NHS Every Mind Matters lists practical and emotional support for those caring for others.

Sue Ryder shares ideas on how to support someone who is dying.

How to be with someone who is dying

  • 1. Talk openly with them
  • 2. Listen to what they need
  • 3. Sit quietly together
  • 4. Read to them
  • 5. Listen to their favourite music
  • 6. Share memories and photos
  • 7. Read messages from friends and family
  • 8. Tell them you love them

Watch

Age UK’s five-minute video Let’s talk about death and dying.

Listen

Marie Curie On the Couch podcast talking about death.

Dying Matters has recorded 16 podcast episodes with people who talk about death and dying. They also share their personal experiences about how important it is to do so.

It can be hard to know what to say or do that might help someone who is grieving, but just being there and listening can make all the difference. We worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, not knowing someone well enough, or not having personal experience of death. Those grieving may worry about being a burden or being judged. Below are some free tips and guides to help you be there for others throughout their grief – which may last months or years. Often, simply being there and listening is enough to offer comfort

Grief Kind by Sue Ryder offers advice on what to say and how you can support someone who is grieving, including five short videos from bereavement experts, and their Grief Kind podcast. Get started with their Five Ways to Support Someone Who is Grieving blog.

This Cruse Bereavement Care guide for supporting yourself and others with grief debunks the myths, normalises grief, and offers tips on how to support yourself and others, including children.

The Good Grief Trust offers helpful advice for family and friends of those who are grieving. Watch their useful short videos on what you could say or do.

Hospice UK shares advice on how to tell somebody that a loved one is dying or has died in their Talking about Death and Dying information. They also have information about how to talk to children.

Alzheimer’s Society guide to support a person with dementia during a bereavement shares advice on how, or if, to tell a person with dementia about a death.

Mencap provides useful information if you're concerned about how to explain a death to someone with a learning disability.

Child Bereavement UK have produced two easy-read guides for adults on Bereavement and Feelings, and Talking about Funerals.

National Autistic Society bereavement guides for autistic adults, parents and carers, and professionals looks at the subject of bereavement, how it can affect autistic people and what we can do to help.

This Sue Ryder Grief Guide article explores supporting members of the LGBTQ+ community through grief and bereavement.

Supporting someone bereaved by suicide information on how to reach out and offer support. Includes Finding the Words booklet by the Support After Suicide Partnership.

Help for those who don’t speak English by Cruse bereavement charity lists information to download in a range of languages, and details how to access an interpreter on their helpline by calling 0808 808 1677.

A summary of how different faiths, beliefs, cultures and communities approach death, dying and bereavement and suggests further links to specific information and support. By Child Bereavement UK.

How to speak to a bereaved colleague – five mistakes and what to say instead. A blog by Dying Matters that considers two versions of the same story to demonstrate best practice and impact of both approaches.

How to be with someone who is bereaved

  • 1. Listen.
  • 2. Offer practical help. Make specific suggestions.
  • 3. Find out if they need more support. Share where it is available.
  • 4. Remember important dates. Anniversaries and birthdays might be particularly difficult.
  • 5. Be understanding of their needs. Check in as these will change day to day.
  • 6. Understand that grief doesn’t ever leave.

Grief is an emotion we experience relating to loss. It is a normal process. Everyone experiences grief differently, there is no right way or set time to grieve. Talking about grief might feel uncomfortable but it is important to acknowledge how someone may feel and let them remember loved ones.

Some people prefer to speak to family, friends or others who have had similar experiences. Others may wish to talk to a bereavement support professional or grief counsellor. Grief support groups can help if the bereaved person feels like no one around them truly understands what they are going through. The groups offer a safe space for people who have experienced bereavement to come together, providing comfort and friendship. There is no time limit on when someone can access help, or for how long, following a bereavement.

A range of judgement-free, discreet bereavement support and advice is available to help someone find what suits their needs. Find free, easy-to-access options listed below to signpost someone to if they need a helping hand in remembering their loved one and learning to live with their loss.

Local Help and Advice

Death Positive Libraries in Hampshire aim to remove the barriers to talking about death and dying, offering books, resources, and trained staff to provide guidance. Their Living with Loss groups provide a safe space for bereaved individuals to come together and support one another in their grief journey.

Cruse provides free bereavement support, no matter how long you have been grieving. Call your local branch on:

01256 862264 (North Hampshire)

0300 7904055 (South Hampshire, restricted hours only).

Learn more about understanding and managing grief, as well as supporting other people. They offer a range of locally tailored support, including group and one-to-one sessions. For more immediate help, call the free national helpline on 0808 808 1677, open every day (but opening times vary). Calls are confidential and there is no minimum age.

Bereavement Care offers free support to anyone struggling with loss. They offer one-to-one support, plus some local wellbeing or friendship groups. Call 08081 691 922.

Connect to Support Hampshire lists many more local and national bereavement services. Please note that providers listed in this directory are not endorsed by Hampshire County Council.

National Help and Advice

Sue Ryder offers a range of free online bereavement support that can help someone learn to live with their grief. They offer a range of support – from their Grief Guide offering information and resources, to qualified counsellors, or a community of others with similar experiences.

Grief Coach provides free, expert grief text support to a registered phone all year long. From Sue Ryder.

The Good Grief Trust lists telephone support numbers for a range of bereavement services, and offers information on coping with loss, including helpful videos.

GriefChat by Independent Age allows someone to chat online directly to a specially trained bereavement counsellor. It is instant, free, and available Monday-Friday 9am-9pm or by email out of these hours.

Sue Ryder’s Grief Guide on LGBTQ+ grief and bereavement. Queer Good Grief is a monthly peer to peer online support meeting and safe space for members of the LGTBQ+ community who are grieving.

At A Loss is a bereavement website that signposts to other information if the above are not what someone is looking for.

The National Bereavement Alliance has produced a printable Grief Support Guide. It is also available in the following languages: Bengali, Chinese, French, Gujarati, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Spanish and Welsh.

If grief is causing someone physical or mental wellbeing concerns, the bereaved person should contact their GP. Depending on their needs they may be referred to a social prescriber or mental wellbeing advisor who might work with them one-to-one to find solutions that suit them.

Listen

There are many podcasts that explore bereavement and grief. The charity Cruse have created a list of podcasts so people can find one that appeals to them.

Watch

The Good Grief Trust have recorded videos of people who have been bereaved sharing their stories about moving forward.

Simon Says offers free bereavement support locally in Hampshire for children and young people up to age 18. They run monthly support groups. Call their support line on 02380 647550.

Winston’s Wish is a national child bereavement support charity. They offer a live chat on weekdays, 8am-8pm, via their website or call their free helpline on 08088 020 021 for expert advice, information and bereavement support for grieving children, young people and adults supporting them. They also have information about supporting grieving children and young people with SEND and have information translated into some other languages – and can also use interpreters on their helpline.

Hope Again is the youth website of Cruse bereavement support charity. It is written by young people dealing with grief and includes information and videos on living after loss.

Read

Hampshire Libraries’ When a Book Might Help bereavement storybook list suggests titles to help children understand and cope with new experiences and feelings. Reading Well for Teens has compiled a ‘Coping with bereavement and grief’ book list for young people.

Watch

Supporting a bereaved child who is autistic by Child Bereavement UK. They also have many other short videos on a wide range of bereavement and grief topics.

Listen

Grief in Common podcast by Winston’s Wish. Listen to young people from different backgrounds and experiences share their feelings and speak honestly about grief.

Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) offers peer-led, free support to adults impacted by suicide loss. Call the Winchester group on 07763 644 310 or email [email protected]

Amparo is a free and confidential service offering support to anyone in Hampshire affected by suicide, including children and young people. Call 0330 088 9255.

Supporting someone bereaved by suicide gives tips on how to reach out and offer support. It includes Finding the Words booklet by the Support After Suicide Partnership.

The Purple Pack bereavement guide for families of service personnel is designed to provide bereaved family members with information and contact details of recommended organisations that can help them with their specific needs.

Cruse bereavement charity provide support for people following a death in service. They have information about if there is an inquest, repatriation is required, and what happens after a military death. They have a freephone helpline on 0808 808 1677 and information specifically for children and young people.

Winston’s Wish has information on support for children in a bereaved military family.