In their first year of fostering, Beth* and her partner Sam*, have changed the lives of seven children. Initially they offered emergency care and regular short breaks, known as respite. They have now opened their home to provide long-term care. Beth tells us more about their fostering experience so far.
“So far we’ve provided respite for a family of three for a weekend, well as another boy for respite. We’ve also done one emergency placement for a weekend and another for what turned into 8 weeks. In November we started providing respite care for a 12-year-old. Over time we developed a good relationship with her and due to a change in her home circumstances, she has joined our family for the foreseeable future. We were always planning on offering long term care but began with respite because it’s usually a good starting point for new carers”
Becoming a foster carer was something that Beth had always thought about. “I’m a step mum and I have a lot of family experience. I’m one of nine children with six nieces and nephews, so it’s fair to say I’m used to having children around. Aside from family, I used to work for Mencap which was so fun and really rewarding.”
“My brother has been fostering with Hampshire for four years and so I had a bit of an insight. We’re a close family and have gatherings and interactions a lot. He would tell me what fostering is like and talk about the different demands for different children. A few years ago, we went on holiday with him and two children he was caring for and it was great. Since then, Sam and I considered becoming foster carers.”
Beth works full-time for Hampshire Constabulary, “In work I see how children get caught in the middle of family disputes and violence. Sam and I became foster carers because we want to help children who don’t have anyone else to help them” she says. Sam currently serves in the Armed Forces and can often be away with work, “When I told Sam I wanted to start fostering, he was very open and fully supportive. He said if I want to do this, then let’s do it. I’m the primary carer but when he’s home he gets involved.”
Sam has two younger children who regularly visit each month, “It’s a different dynamic when we have all the children together. We were slightly worried how the kids would feel about us fostering but they love it and think it’s so exciting. They make friends and play together.”
“During our foster carer training, I wondered how we would settle children into our home, but you have to look at it from their point of view. How are they feeling right now? It’s a huge deal for them. We have two dogs called Jessie and Woody and a rescue cat called Ghengis, who help comfort them. We also try to create special moments for the children. When my stepchildren come for a weekend we have movie night in the living room, sit on a picnic blanket and eat pizza. It’s great fun and the kids get to pick what we watch. It’s important to have that time together.”
“We want to help children who don’t have anyone else to help them. In truth, it has been tough during lockdown because there hasn’t been that social interaction and some of our training has been delayed. Hampshire has done a great job of adapting though.” Says Beth, “The little one we’re looking after has just started football training and she’s so excited about it. She was nervous at first, but over time she’s gained confidence. It’s so lovely to see her light up.”
For some new applicants, the fostering assessment can be daunting, but rest assured you will have your own social worker to support every step of your journey, “My social worker is brilliant. She’s fantastic and keeps me in the loop with everything I need to know.” You will also be provided with training throughout your assessment and after approval, you will have access to many online courses, such as mental health for children and young people, and teenage psychology.
“Patience is one of the biggest skills you need as a foster carer. It’s a very serious thing to be doing but you can’t be so serious all the time. You need to be open and try to understand the child as much as possible. Hampshire do their best to match children with families but don’t be scared to say no to a placement to avoid becoming overwhelmed. It’s important to ensure the placement is suitable for both the child and you as a carer. Hampshire will listen to you and understand your reasoning.”
If you are interested in fostering, you can speak to a foster carer just like Beth at one of our virtual informal information sessions here. Beth adds, “If you’re already thinking about fostering, you’re probably the right type of person to become a foster carer. Us carers do what we do because we want to make a difference. If you can help someone, go for it.”
*Names have been changed