“The first young person we ever fostered lead the way for us. She slotted into our family unit right away, the match was great & the dynamic just worked.
When we started fostering, we both worked full time…we got into a rhythm with it, and our home started filling up with foster children. So, we moved, I gave up work and we fostered more children, alongside our own. Some fostering agencies would not consider us because we both worked full time, but Hampshire were open to see how it could work. It helped that our working experience was with children/vulnerable people.
You can never be 100% prepared for each child that comes into your home; it changes over time and with each young person. You talk to your own children in preparation for someone coming to stay. We have found playing games together massively helps with the introductions. Our two dogs play their part too, as foster children might have had to leave pets behind when they came to stay with us.
We love seeing the progress our foster children make, the change in their outlook on life – their confidence growing bigger in their abilities. It sounds like a cliché, but it really is rewarding! I worked for the police and Charley as a teacher, but at home is where we can really make a difference. So many children need that stability that you can give them. To date, we have fostered around 50 children. To see them thrive in life, to know that what you have given them has helped to raise their self-confidence, there’s nothing like it.
For us, fostering with the council has been a great place to start – starting you out at a level you feel comfortable and placing children in your care that you have the skills to care for. There is a really strong support network here. You can go along to the monthly meet ups with other foster carers or just pop any queries on the Facebook page, there is always someone with a listening ear. If you want to do more, there's opportunities for that too – for example we hired a pizza oven and hosted ‘make your own pizza’s’ for 20 foster families at Queen Elizabeth County Park.
Do not be put off if you think you do not have enough experience and might not get through the application process – just caring for your own children is enough or having stepchildren. At first foster children might not be happy to be in your home, they have been through a lot…but as they see they can trust you to understand them, work with them and share their burdens, things change. Self-care is key for a happy home life, for me that is playing football and making time for us as a couple.
If you’re thinking about fostering, our journey started with one child, now we have an 8 bed house full of young people, fostering has literally changed the course of our lives!”