“I’d always wanted to work with children, ideally at a children’s charity, but didn’t have the required qualifications. I ended up working in an office and doing some babysitting for family and friends. I got married to Michael and we had two children of our own. I started working as a childminder. It suited me because I could work from home and really enjoyed looking after children. When I was asked if I would consider fostering, I didn’t have to think about it for long!
Our children were still young, the eldest was 4 and the youngest 18 months old so we decided to foster children up to the age of 4. Our boys were very accepting of the children we looked after, they liked having them around and our home was completely child orientated. The children were the most important part of our life, and we always did what we thought was best for them.
It was very much a team effort for my husband and me, except when it came to changing nappies – then I was on my own! But Michael would play with the children for hours, and never complained about driving them to countless appointments and activities. They all loved him - he was the fun one! Over a career that spanned 45 years, we looked after 163 children and we loved every minute. It was so much more than just a job for us, it was a vocation.
We’ve looked after babies and young children, sibling groups, children with complex needs and mothers with children. Our main aim was always the same - to give them love and support them as they grow and develop. Some children stay in touch with their birth parents and siblings, while others prefer not to. Our job wasn’t to judge, but to provide care and think about what’s right for that individual child. We met many parents who loved their children dearly but weren’t able to look after them at that time. Some people just need a little bit of extra support for a relatively short time.
It wasn’t always easy, we looked after children with global delay, autism and vision impairment, and it was challenging at times. We learnt Makaton, a language of symbols and signs, to aid our communication with some of the children and it helped so much – I think everyone should learn it!
We had so much fun over the years, many hours spent playing in the garden and the local park. We’d go on holidays too, often to visit relatives. In terms of what makes a good foster carer, I think it’s just having that willingness to play, interact and provide comfort when needed. You’re the one those children need at that moment and if necessary, everything else can wait.
Saying goodbye can be hard but you know the children are not yours. You love them while you’ve got them and ultimately just want them to be happy. We worked with birth families, social workers and adoptive parents to make the journey as smooth as possible.
We adopted two children after a long-term fostering placement, it was absolutely the right decision for us and we’re so happy we did.
The team at Hampshire County Council have always been incredibly supportive, with lovely, helpful social workers. The most important thing is being honest if you need some guidance or information, it’s all about working together as a team. We loved the sense of achievement that came with fostering, the knowledge that we were doing something good and really helping those children when they needed it most. My advice to anyone thinking about fostering would be, if you can do it, just do it.”