A person putting a bottle into their shopping trolley

Helping others

We are a caring nation, and as our friends and family age we like to help and care for them as much as possible.

Let’s reframe our understanding of ‘care’, in the traditional sense of doing things for people, to ‘coaching’ – so we are doing things with people and enabling them to maintain or regain their independence.

Small changes could really help someone to maintain their independence and physical and mental health. The question we need to ask ourselves is ‘do we care too much?'

Which of these do you regularly do for an older loved one?

Select all that apply. Advice will appear below each selected answer.

Carry shopping or bags for them

If they can, lifting and carrying light items can help maintain their strength for everyday tasks.

Make hot drinks or meals without asking

Simple activities like making a cup of tea involve balance, movement and coordination that help keep your loved ones active. They could even practice heel raises while the kettle boils.

Get up to answer the door for them

Walking to answer the door helps maintain mobility, balance and confidence. If it's safe to do so, encouraging them to get there themselves can help keep them active.

Fetch items they could safely get themselves

Regular movement throughout the day helps maintain strength and independence. Small tasks like retrieving items from around the home can provide valuable opportunities to keep moving.

Encourage them to sit down and rest instead of moving around

While rest is important, too much sitting can lead to muscle weakness and reduced balance. Encouraging regular movement can help them stay stronger for longer.

Elderly man looking relaxed holding a mug

There are things I need support with but equally, I have to ask people to let me do things for myself. It can be quite frustrating having people do things for you, when you want to do them for yourself.

Five ways to help someone move more

People often need support for a range of reasons. This website covers some of these, such as incontinence and fear of falling. There are many things you can do to support someone to move more, helping them to stay independent for longer.

Understand what matters

Have a conversation with them about the things they would like to do for themselves and what would make a real difference if they didn’t have to rely on others.

Reinforce the benefits

Talk about how certain movements can help them reach their goals. For example, regularly practising getting out of the chair can help them to get in and out of a car or bus seat.

Focus on what they can do

Often our mindset is one of the biggest barriers to achieving goals, so focus on what they are already capable of doing safely and try to do that more often. This will help build up confidence and ability.

Practice makes progress

If someone practises standing on one leg while waiting for the kettle to boil, it will soon become easier and easier.

Make the environment safer

There are things in the house that can make moving around riskier, such as worn slippers, rugs, loose wires and poor lighting. Consider whether there are any simple changes you can make together to help the environment feel safer.

While often well intentioned, doing too much for someone can contribute to a decline in their strength, stamina, balance and confidence. Research has clarified that the benefits of being active far outweigh the risks, even for most people living with long term conditions. Those who are least active have the most to gain from moving more.

One local resident told us

If you don't use it, you lose it, so let me try myself and I can maintain some independence.

Elderly woman smiling holding a watering can

Support independence through activity

There is a wide range of online or group activities to participate in. This could be something you do together or separately, depending on whether you or the person you support are already active or yet to start.

A person using a chair for support while exercising at home

Getting started

For people who are new to being active.

Three people wearing sportswear while on a walk outdoors

Keep improving

For people who are already active and want to build confidence and strength.

Looking after yourself matters too

Supporting someone else can be rewarding, but it's important to look after your own wellbeing. Carers Active have produced a series of short video workouts and bitesize functional exercises that feature real carers. The videos aim to help you to be active in a way that works for you, at home, and at a time that is convenient, while providing an inclusive and fun way to feel the physical and mental benefits.