When your birth child becomes an adult

Advice about how birth relatives can continue to use Keeping in Touch arrangements when a child becomes an adult

When your birth child reaches the age of 18, as an adult they can decide how they wish to continue with their Keeping in Touch arrangements with you and other birth family relatives. This can be supported by the Keeping in Touch team until your birth child is 21 or 25 years of age (if they have an Education Health Care Plan).

Your birth child can:

  • continue with the current Keeping in Touch arrangements with contact through their adopted parent(s)
  • continue with the current Keeping in Touch arrangements, but contact is now directly with birth family relatives
  • ask for their Keeping in Touch arrangements to be reviewed
  • ask for their Keeping in Touch arrangements to be paused temporarily or completely stopped

The Keeping in Touch Team will contact you with the decision your birth child, as an adult, has made. This can be reviewed if requested by your birth child whilst they are supported by the team.

If your birth child does not want contact

There are occasions when a birth child may request no contact at this moment in time, which we understand can be very upsetting. We will always respect their wishes and discuss their decision with you.

If this happens, you may wish to sign up to the Adoption Contact Register on the General Register Office website.

This register will record that you would like to make contact with your birth child, should they want to get in touch with you in the future.

We would always encourage birth relatives to sign up to the Adoption Contact Register as this enables your birth child to easily be able to contact you if/when they feel ready.

Other ways to make contact with your birth child

Although you will not be able to have access to your birth child’s personal details, you can still get help. You can contact their adoption agency or local authority where they were adopted for support.

Depending on when your birth child was adopted, you will be entitled to the support of an approved intermediary (the go-between for yourself and your birth child) or the adoption agency. They will make contact on your behalf to see if your birth child does wish to have contact with you.

However, no information or contact details can be shared without the agreement of your birth child.

Frequently asked questions

You can contact our Keeping in Touch Team, who will be happy to discuss your options.

As your birth child is now an adult, it is important that we respect their wishes as to whether they would like any form of contact.

We understand this may be difficult for you to hear. Reach out to the Keeping in Touch Team if you would like to talk to us or need any support.

Although this can be very tempting, the emotional impact on both you and your birth child can be huge. We would always encourage you to seek support in contacting your birth child. The best way to do this is through our Keeping in Touch Team who can offer advice and guidance.

It can be very difficult as a birth parent to be told your birth child, at this time, does not want any further contact. We will always respect their current wishes, just as we will support them if they would like to explore contact again in the future.

If you would like to talk this through with our Keeping in Touch Team, please do contact us.

It can be really hard to know what to do when contact has stopped. Please do reach out to our team who can offer you support.

You can leave your details on the Adoption Contact Register. which will mean that if your birth child, at a later stage decides they would like to make contact with you, your details can be shared with them.

The Adoption Contact Register is not a tracing service but will notify you if your child has also registered. What they will not do is share any contact details. It will be your birth child’s decision if they wish to contact you.

This is an approved specialist service provided by local authorities and adoption agencies. They act as a go-between for you and your birth child, and they will let them know you wish to have contact with them.

Your birth child must be over 18, and the agency will not be able to provide any identifying information unless your birth child agrees.

If your child was adopted before 2005, you will be able to request this service.

If your birth child was adopted after 2005, there are different regulations and processes for making contact with them. Our Keeping in Touch Team will be happy to talk this through with you.

We understand this may sound confusing, please do contact our team who will be happy to support you.

Adopt South's Keeping in Touch Advice and Support Line is available Monday to Thursday 8:30am to 5pm, and Friday 8:30am to 4:30pm.

We aim to reply to you within one working day. We are not open on bank holidays.

We understand the information on this page can seem complicated but want to reassure you that our Keeping in Touch Team is here to help and support you as your birth child reaches adulthood.