Keeping in touch

For children to have a strong feeling of identity, maintaining a connection with their birth family is important for their well-being and a sense of who they are as they grow up.

After a child has been adopted, Keeping in Touch (also known as 'Contact' or 'Staying in Touch') provides a means for family members to have some form of communication. This contact is between the adoptive parent(s) and birth parent(s) or other important individuals through an agreed exchange of communications.

A child’s identity is at the centre of our values

Why is it important to have a Keeping in Touch arrangement?

All children need to feel a connection to who they are and their birth family before they were adopted. Research shows that keeping in touch with birth relatives can give children a sense of understanding their life story and identity, which can become more important as they get older.

parent with child

The Keeping in Touch Team

Our Keeping in Touch Team are here to help adoptive parents, birth relatives and young people with their Keeping in Touch arrangements both now and in the future.

Our dedicated team, including social workers and Keeping in Touch coordinators, support adoptive parents, birth relatives, and young people in maintaining and/or developing their connections.

We help with organising Keeping in Touch arrangements, which can include face to face meetings, workshops, letter writing as well as using the latest technology, known as Letter Swap, to communicate digitally.

If you need any help or advice, please contact our Keeping in Touch Advice and Support Line which is available Monday to Thursday 8.30am-5pm, and Fridays 8.30am–4.30pm on 03707 795 000 or email us on [email protected]. We aim to reply to all enquiries within one working day. We are not open on Bank Holidays.

Information for Adoptive Families

What is a Keeping in Touch Agreement?

A child’s adoptive parent(s) and their birth relatives will have a formal Keeping in Touch Agreement from the child’s Adoption Team. This will explain their Keeping in Touch arrangement and will include the type of contact agreed, as well as when and how often.

If you are unsure of what is included in your Keeping in Touch Agreement, or you would like these arrangements to be reviewed, please contact us and we will be happy to chat this through with you.

Different ways of Keeping in Touch

Adoptive parent(s), birth relatives or any other important person in in your child’s life before their adoption, can be considered for a Keeping in Touch arrangement, which can include:

Coordinated by the Keeping in Touch Team, Face to Face meetings involve you and your child/ren and can include birth relatives, siblings or any other important person in your child’s life.

We understand that these meetings can sometimes cause anxiety or worry. We are here to help you at any point with these arrangements, from setting up the initial meeting, to being present on the day. You can always talk to us before or after you have had a Face to Face meeting.

These meetings are exclusively for adoptive parent(s) and birth relatives and do not include your child. You can meet in person or virtually, to share news and information. These can be one-off meetings or arranged on a regular basis.

Mailbox refers to any information which is exchanged through the post and/or emails between adoptive parent(s) and birth relatives through the Keeping in Touch Team.

Diagram showing mailbox communications between adoptive parent(s) and birth family through Adopt South 

Mailbox communications are sent to our Keeping in Touch Team and are forwarded to the agreed birth relative(s).

Adopt South do not read anything that goes through your Mailbox Keeping in Touch arrangement. If you have any concerns or questions, please do call our Keeping in Touch Support and Advice Line who will be happy to help you.

We also offer our adoptive parent(s) and birth relatives the opportunity to use a safe and secure digital platform called Letter Swap for keeping in touch.

Letter Swap is used by adoptive parents(s) and birth relatives to exchange different types of communications including photos, videos, text based documents, PDFs and sound recordings. It can be used on any device, including a mobile phone, tablet, or computer. Letter Swap keeps all communications in an email-style account that you can reach at any time.

The Keeping in Touch Team will provide you with an easy to use guide on Letter Swap and will support you to set up and access the service.

Your Keeping in Touch Agreement will say what everyone has agreed to send, when to send it and how many times. Letter Swap can run alongside your existing Keeping in Touch arrangement or on its own.

If you are interested in finding out more about Letter Swap, please call our Keeping in Touch Advice and Support Line which is available Monday to Thursday 8.30am-5pm, and Fridays 8.30am–4.30pm on 03707 795 000 or email us on [email protected]. We are not open on Bank Holidays.

Email contact or a messaging service (such as WhatsApp) can be a good way for adoptive parent(s) and birth relatives to share regular updates and information more frequently.

This would be outside of your Keeping in Touch Agreement and is directly arranged between adoptive parent(s) and birth relatives.

More information about Keeping in Touch arrangements

When your child reaches the age of 18 years old, as an adult they can decide how they wish to continue with their Keeping in Touch arrangements. This can be supported by the Keeping in Touch team until your child is 21 or 25 years old (with an EHCP).

There are several options for your child:

  • Continue with the current Keeping in Touch arrangements with contact through their birth relatives
  • Continue with the current Keeping in Touch arrangements, but contact is now between themselves and their birth relatives
  • Ask for their Keeping in Touch arrangements to be reviewed
  • Ask for their Keeping in Touch arrangements to be paused temporarily or completely stopped

You can call us on 03707 795 000 to talk things through or find out more about the options available.

It can be hard to know what to write in your letters or digital communications, so if you need some support, we will be happy to help you.

There is no right or wrong way to write; we encourage you to use your own style and make it personal to your child.

There may be times when you receive information that is difficult to understand or accept, questions you are unsure whether to ask, or you may have news to share yourself which could be upsetting. If you feel that you need some support or advice, helping you is what we are here to do.

Please contact our Keeping in Touch Advice and Support Line which is available Monday to Thursday 8.30am-5pm, and Fridays 8.30am–4.30pm on 03707 795 000 or email us [email protected]. We are not open on Bank Holidays.

When sending letters for us to forward, please include your full name and unique reference on a separate piece of paper or a post-it note. You can find your reference on the letters you've received from our Keeping in Touch Team.

If you can’t find this information, please contact our Keeping in Touch Advice and Support Line which is available Monday to Thursday 8.30am-5pm, and Fridays 8.30am–4.30pm on 03707 795 000 or email us [email protected]. We are not open on Bank Holidays.

We know it can be difficult or disappointing when you do not receive a reply. It could be for one of many reasons and does not necessarily mean something is wrong.

Please do let us know, and we will try to contact the other birth relative(s) to offer support. In the meantime, please continue to send your communications, as we know how important this is over time and in years to come for your child.

If someone contacts you outside of your Keeping in Touch arrangement, please feel free to contact our Keeping in Touch Advice and Support Line which is available Monday to Thursday 8.30am-5pm, and Fridays 8.30am–4.30pm on 03707 795 000 or email us [email protected]. We are not open on Bank Holidays.

At the centre of any Keeping in Touch arrangement must be what is in the best interests of your child.

If you have any concerns about your child’s wellbeing, please do call our team who will be happy to support you. Our Keeping in Touch Advice and Support Line is available Monday to Thursday 8.30am-5pm, and Fridays 8.30am–4.30pm on 03707 795 000 or you can email us [email protected]. We are not open on Bank Holidays.

If you are interested in setting up a new or different Keeping in Touch arrangement, please let us know and we will be happy to support you.

All aspects of Keeping in Touch should be reviewed regularly to make sure they are meeting the changing needs of your child.

Yes! We welcome all feedback about our Keeping in Touch service. If you would like to provide anonymised feedback (or select to provide your details), please use our form.

You can also provide feedback by emailing [email protected].

Your comments can help to improve our service to you and others.

All communications including images, voice notes and documents received by the Keeping in Touch Team are treated as confidential, in line with the Data Protection Act 2018 and our privacy notice for families. This sets out how information is processed, the lawful basis, any rights you have regarding this information, and who to contact if you have any concerns on how your information is being handled.

Please contact us if you have any concerns about how your personal data is being held and stored.